A blog about TTC, infertility and hope

Monthly Archives: June 2014

I went on Thursday for more blood work to see if my beta doubled, it did- it went from 41 to 84. I still think these numbers are low. I called the nurse and asked, she said as long as they doubled I am good to go right now. I’m just so nervous due to my miscarriage in January that it really makes it hard to be excited right now :/

Saturday night me and hubby went to Olive Garden for dinner, after dinner I went to the bathroom and there was brown blood when I wiped. I called the nurse, she said this is ok and not to worry too much because it’s usually just old blood from the uterus. I’ve been feeling pretty crampy this weekend too, like period crampy. 

I went this morning for more blood work. Today the nurse said my beta should be around 330-350. They usually call with results around 10:30. It is now 12:14 and they still have not called. Hubby told me to “chillax” LOL. 

Ugh I wish they would just call already!! In my head I’m thinking that they’re waiting to call me to give me the bad news when they know I’m done work. Gotta get that negativity outta here!! Positive thoughts, positive thoughts! 


Yesterday I went to the doctor for pregnancy blood work. It turns out, the symptoms I was having were not at all AF symptoms…I’M PREGNANT! I have so many emotions going on right now. I’m excited, scared, nervous, worried..ETC. But for now I’m just trying to be happy and positive!! 

My beta was only 41 but it’s still really early. I feel like that number is too low and I won’t have my 2nd beta until tomorrow. I’ve been reading about pregnancy with hydrosalpinx, and it seems that a lot of women miscarry due to the fluid from the tube leaking into the uterus. I’m trying so hard not to think this way, but it’s so difficult after my miscarriage in January. I just want everything to be ok! 

Some things are different from last time that are giving me great hope that this pregnancy will stick. One thing is no bleeding at all. In January, before I even knew I was pregnant, I was spotting which then turned to full bleeding and I thought that was cycle day 1. I went into the doctors office for CD1 blood work and later that afternoon the nurse called and said I was pregnant. 

Another difference, progesterone is not needed this time. When the nurse called me in January to tell me I was pregnant, I had to go right to the office to have a progesterone shot. Yesterday, I asked the nurse if I needed it and she said no, Dr. M said my levels are good at 21. 

Even though I am trying to be positive hand have faith, I still am a mad woman checking for everything that may seem off. Every cramp or flutter in my stomach scares the bejeesus outta me, every time I go to the bathroom I am checking for any sign of spotting or bleeding, and worse of all- I know, I know, this is the absolute worse thing I could do- I’m googling everything!! :/

Although I am scared, worried, nervous, crazy and any other emotion you could think of, right now I’m gonna enjoy being pregnant and continue to pray that my baby sticks around 🙂 

So the nurse instructed me that if i didn’t get AF by the 23rd (today) then I would have to come in for a pregnancy test. I ovulated on my right side this month, which is the side with the bad tube (Hydrosalpinx), So the doctor didn’t put me on progesterone- he worries that if I get pregnant this month it won’t be a viable pregnancy due to the bad tube. 

I haven’t done a home pregnancy test yet- I hate seeing the negative results all the time so i really try to restrain and just wait for the blood work. I’m having some of the same symptoms as when I got pregnant in January. But in January, I was on progesterone and thought the symptoms were from that. Some of my symptoms:

1) The obvious, no AF. 

2) I’m extremely tired. I fell asleep while we were watching a movie yesterday afternoon and then went to bed around 8 PM. Constantly fighting to keep my eyes open at work. 

3) I’m soooo emotional. Yesterday hubby was playing around and stung me on my butt with a towel, I cried and called him a bully- LOL- It didn’t even hurt, I was just mad, sad, annoyed…you get the point. 

4) My boobs hurt so bad. It’s hard to sleep on my stomach.

5) This morning after breakfast I got sweaty and dizzy and felt like breakfast was gonna make its’ way back up. Too soon to feel that way? 

These could also be AF symptoms. I guess the only way to find out is calling that doctors office and making an appt. If I am pregnant, I’m praying for the doctor to be wrong and it be a viable one. Wish me luck!!

So Thursday morning me and hubby went for our injectables consultation. The nurse pretty much just went over how to use the Follistim pen, she said once I do it the first time it’ll be much easier the next. I hope she’s right because I was kind of confused about the amounts to administer- good thing hubs was paying attention! I was trying really hard to pay attention, but found myself tearing up. I just kept thinking, ” I can’t believe this is how we have to make a baby!” Ugh, so emotional!

Anyway, I went on to tell the nurse how my insurance doesn’t cover any of the meds. It just so happened that that morning she had gotten in a box of donations that she could give to me! I didn’t even know that was a such thing! She said usually these meds can be thousands of dollars, including the Follistim, progesterone and trigger shot. Thank you nurse for saving us some money! So I was sent home with my little bag of goodies. I will still need more and have to pay out of pocket for them but I’m just so thankful that she was able to help us in any way 🙂

Right now I’m in my two week wait, so if I don’t get AF by the 23rd then I have to go in for a pregnancy test. If the test is negative, we will start the injectables. Me and hubby took a mini get away last night and stayed in Atlantic City, I just needed to get my mind off of everything that’s been going on lately. We had a really nice time and now its back to reality.

I decided to start this blog because I have so much stuff on my mind these days, especially about our infertility issues, and we are kind of selective as to who we tell about it. It’s not something I wanna run down the street screaming, “Hey everyone, me and my husband can’t get pregnant on our own!”  Maybe one day our family members can read this and get an insight to what we are actually going through. I just hate talking about it and people seem to never say the right things! It’s not that they do it on purpose but hearing, “If its meant to happen, it will” makes me want to SCREAM! I’m sure someone reading this and struggling with infertility can relate.

I’m not a writer and this is my first blog ever, so please don’t mind the errors with grammar. I just need an outlet right now.

Tomorrow hubby and I have a consult with the nurse for injectables. I called my Health Insurance and found out that the injectables will not be covered and we have to pay out of pocket. I’m not sure how much it’s gonna cost yet, but from what I hear and read, it’s close to 800+ a month :/  And actually, my health insurance doesn’t cover anything fertility wise- Great! (sarcasm at its best). It’s weird though because IUI’s will be covered, Just not the meds or IVF…hmmm…I guess I will find out more tomorrow.